This really has been a roller-coaster of a year. Not only did I have to face facts that my health is not as it used to be, but I felt that the winds of change were heading in my direction and that I would have a few big decisions to make before the year ended.
You see, it really all started a few years back. It started before we moved to the West, it started before I got my first ‘Career’ job and it actually started before B&T was even off the ground.
It was 2010, I was living in Thailand as a teacher and I woke up in pain. Not just any pain, but serious back pain. I had no idea why or how it might have happened, I just remember thinking I had never felt pain like it before and had not been hurt in any way for it to be like that.
I made it to school and was quickly taken to the doctors with a couple of Thai teachers on board for translation. It was scary but quick and I was sent home to rest. A day later I was completely fine, no pain, no stiffness, just normal. And it lasted like that for another couple of years.
Fast forward to July this year and I was going through my 4th major bout of chronic back pain. This is nothing like the pain I had in Thailand, it’s a million times worse. It’s so bad I can’t walk, stand or lie down without help or support. The pain has made me physically sick and pass out due to its strength and the worst bit about it is that it lasts so long. I can be almost bed bound for up to two weeks and not see any sign of the pain leaving for up to 8. Each time it happens I lose a bit more movement and muscle control that continually affects me on a day to day basis.
This last time pushed me too far. Barley 6 months had passed in between attacks and I had never fully shaken the pain. It was exhausting. It changes everything you do and the way in which you do it. It also changes you, if you let it.
I realised I didn’t want it too, it wasn’t going to ruin my life. I had spent the last 3 years constantly worrying about when it might happen again and if it would be worse than the last time. I couldn’t live like that anymore, it wasn’t me.
I was lucky enough to be given a 6-week course of Acupuncture along with my physiotherapy treatment this time. It helped shave off 2 weeks of recovery time as well as highlight some of the other issues the back pain had caused. I realised that although I am only 29, I was unable to continue doing the physically demanding environmental job I had been in for almost 3 years. And this is where the biggest change happened.
At the end of August this year I handed in my notice to begin the long road to recovery, away from heavy lifting. And in doing so I went full time with my true passion and became self-employed with my business The Butterfly and Toadstool
I will continue with my physiotherapy now that Acupuncture is complete and hope to get back to my Yoga class before the end of the year. I have a lot of work to do, exercising is key to improving my back, and I will remain positive that one day I will be pain free and able to touch my toes again!
As for now I can’t help to think that things are meant, so even if it had to come in the form of pain, it’s put me on the path to happiness as a solo trader.
So stay positive, be creative and shop local. You really can make a difference to little people with big dreams.